Dear Reader,
How are you this fine day?
Of course, this day is not so fine for many people around the world. One of my friends messaged me this morning saying "What the hell's going on with the world right now?".
Yes.
We are in a weird point in time, where we have medicines that can cure illnesses we never thought treatable, where we can visit all corners of the globe, where people have more opportunities than ever to thrive...
And still, we choose violence. Anger. We allow our Ego to rule our lives.
Okay, before you decide that this entry is too depressing, it's not. I just thought it necessary to reflect.
And as I spent 12 wonderful days with my family and childhood friends back in NI, I was sad to leave. I felt a pull to stay where I have so much love and comfort.
But reading the news this week reminded me of why I left. For the first time in a long time, I will not be disclosing my hometown, as once again, I'm ashamed at what a small minority of ignorant people have done.
I am sending my love to all those who have been made to feel unsafe. And I also send my love to those who feel the need to perpetuate this violence, so that they may taste some experiences that allow them to realise the error of their ways and work hard to make up for it some day.
Anyway.
My time home was lovely. Though it rained almost every day, I only got to go on one proper run (it was glorious), and my dad was having some less good days.
But his good moments were in fact great, and my mum did her usual job of making me feel like the most loved human in the world. I'm lucky. I never take that for granted.
Walking the old steps, but with a new perspective, an inner calm.
Realising, that I have forgiven so much. There is so much calm inside me now, which I didn't think existed. Like a pool of possibility, stemming from droplets of hope, acceptance and discipline.
Seeing the people who ground me, witnessing their happiness, their own journey through life's twists and turns.
Shout-out to my former wine and cheese companion, and now prosecco and sheeze bestie 🥂 and shout-out to Doug, who never fails to make me feel appreciated and useful...
To my crazy kareoke girl, who always makes time for me when I come home, after 20 years of friendship 💕
And to my best friend who became a mother to the most adorable baby boy just over 8 weeks ago. And shout-out to Baby Oliver, for making me a very happy Auntie Steph, with his relentless cuteness 💙
Recognising the light trickling in during the morning, the soft interwinding of the willows as they blow in the breeze. The birds singing, the flowers blooming.
A feeing of calm, in and out.
Gratitude, lining the streets of my mind.
Leaving was harder than I thought, but each step is guided by the frangipanis and followed by the butterflies.
And besides, I never really left.
See you in my meditations, home.
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